Why telling the truth, even the small truths, matters more than you think
How Often Are You Really Honest?
If you instinctively answered "Most of the time," pause for a moment. Let's go deeper.
Your partner asks, "What would you like for dinner?" You reply, "I don’t mind." But you do. You’ve been thinking about that steak on the middle shelf all day. Instead, pasta gets served. You eat it, feel unsatisfied, and maybe even a little resentful, especially after a long day and a soggy sandwich for lunch.
Or imagine this: you’re in a queue, watching the clock, worried your parking is about to expire. The assistant finally rings up your deodorant and says, "Thanks for waiting!" You respond with "No problem." But it was a problem. Now you’re racing up four flights of stairs, hoping to avoid a £50 parking fine.
Then there's the moment your child asks, "Are you okay?" You say "I’m fine," even though you're absolutely not. You’ve had a stressful day, missed your gym class, and opened an unexpected Council Tax bill. You're overwhelmed, but instead of acknowledging it, you deny it for their sake.
Or is it really for your sake?
The Hidden Cost of Everyday White Lies
These small, seemingly harmless lies add up. Sure, the sales assistant didn’t need to hear your stress—but your child did. When a child senses tension and hears "I'm fine," they start to doubt their instincts. You're not just hiding a bad day; you're teaching them not to trust what they feel.
And this matters. Because emotional honesty is a skill children develop by watching adults model it.
Saying, "Yes, I’m feeling a bit stressed, but I’m handling it," doesn’t burden your child—it empowers them. It reassures them that emotions are okay, manageable, and part of life. It shows them that truth can exist without panic or blame.
Why the Steak Matters (Yes, Really)
So what stopped you from saying you wanted steak?
Fear of seeming demanding?
Worry your partner wouldn’t want it?
Uncertainty about whether it was "allowed"?
Whatever the reason, it’s revealing. If we can’t express small preferences, how do we express deeper needs? Like feeling underappreciated. Or unsupported. Or emotionally disconnected.
The truth is: People can’t meet needs they don’t know exist.
Many of us are raised to be selfless, but in the process, we lose connection with what we actually want. We downplay preferences, suppress needs, and slowly become disconnected from ourselves. And when others constantly miss what we never voiced, resentment quietly builds.
Truthfulness Builds Emotional Resilience
Telling the truth doesn’t mean over-sharing or offloading pain. It means recognising what’s real in the moment—and responding with authenticity and care.
This is especially true in parenting. Kids need boundaries, not because they’re fun or easy, but because they create safety and structure. The same goes for honesty. When we model small truths—like admitting we're tired or disappointed—we’re showing children that discomfort is normal, and manageable.
Start with Yourself: Are You Living in Alignment with Your Values?
If the idea of speaking your truth feels scary, start small. Start privately. Ask yourself:
Did I act in line with my values today?
Was I honest about what I needed or wanted?
Being truthful doesn’t mean being harsh. It means being real. And the more we practise emotional honesty, the stronger our relationships, our self-respect, and our resilience become.