You can’t bully yourself into feeling better

“I just need to be more disciplined”

Do you, or is this statement punitive? It’s amazing how many of us speak poorly about ourselves so frequently.

So let me ask you…are you kind to yourself? Or does self-compassion need more practice? Bullying, whether from others or ourselves, thrives on criticism, judgment, and negativity. While adversity can sometimes spark positive change, no relationship, especially the one with yourself ever flourishes under cruelty. Why befriend your inner bully? They drain your energy, darken your days with depression and fear. We're all capable of this self-inflicted harm, and it profoundly shapes how we navigate the world.

Hear how you talk to & about yourself

“It sounds silly but…”

“I’m sure this is a stupid question but…”

“Sorry for bothering you”

“I’m just being dramatic”

How many times a day do you hear these comments? Sadly they sit in our vernacular and often we say them not appreciating the damage they can do to our own self esteem. So what is self-esteem…Self-esteem is your overall sense of self-worth, encompassing how much you value, respect, and feel confident about yourself.

Learning to trust yourself seems simple, yet it can be a daunting journey, but the key is to begin small. Consider how you'd demonstrate trustworthiness to a loved one: consistency, thoughtfulness, keeping your word, genuine care, honesty, acknowledging mistakes, and making amends. Now, turn that inward. How well do you care for yourself? This can be as simple as staying hydrated or eating well. Channel your inner wise parent and offer yourself the same care you'd give a child or loved one.

“But I don't have time!”

Is that truly the case, or is it your inner critic rejecting self-care? No wonder self-trust is elusive if your first response is to deny yourself care. Remember, building inner trust requires effort, and catching negative self-talk requires a different level of consciousness which can be energy consuming. Avoid the trap of scolding yourself for being unkind, and treat yourself as you would a loved one: acknowledge the negativity, soothe it, and make any necessary adjustments. Feeding your inner bully only emboldens them and this will continue to impact your life.